So, I have an explanation... sort of... for why I have been somewhat inconspicuously absent from the interwebs. Here it is: I was going along, minding my own business, when I noticed a comment from a friend on crackbook, making note of an old video I posted. I couldn't quite remember the video because it had been taken almost two years ago. I clicked on it and bam! ... knocked for a loop... I cracked.
After viewing the video over and over and over and over, I did some serious soul and computer searching. It's honestly been rough folks.... This is what you go through when you see you have this video:
... but almost no videos of your little 4 year old between the ages of 2 and 4. The shock sent me weeping to my bed.
I've spent the last few days mourning the loss of his (early) childhood, only reachable through my memories and the (very VERY) few videos I have. I wish I had taken more; I'm so sad that I didn't.
But it's been a good eye-opener. Because of the shock that I have that one and very possibly only this:
... I have made some changes in my life.
This revelation of seeing that my baby has so quickly "grown up" into the dashing sophisticated (*cough*) preschooler that he is today, so quickly with so much going on that I have inadvertantly failed at parenting forgotten to take videos of his precious moments, has forced me to re-evaluate my parenting methods. More precisely: I need to take more videos of him. Having recently found my little Kodak digital point-and-shoot, I've spent the last 5 days videotaping him more than I've done his entire 4 years before this. (Tangent: is it called videotaping when there is no tape, only digital?)
Over-reaction? Not so much. Not when you go from adorable toddler, as seen above, to this:
Sigh. Please stop growing.
*PS: Sorry about the low quality of video... it was actually really good on my computer, but the translation appears to be not so good.
Hi Koreen:
ReplyDeleteMy friend Sunshine seems to have posted this just for you...
http://sunshineinlondon.wordpress.com/2010/09/08/capturing-the-moment-george-clooney-style/
Now I understand your comment about special moments with your son! When my boys were small I used to write down my feelings about them at their various stages. I also wrote down the funny things they said, but reading back on my thoughts and feelings about them is always an amazing experience- takes me right back! Special moments indeed!
ReplyDeleteSunshine x
So sweet and so sad. I so wish I had spent more time writing down the many silly or profound things my little ones said or did. We have a good amount of video, but the camera is never on hand for the really special moments. I guess I'll just have to rely on my memory for most of them. Unfortunately, that's not always the most reliable storage system. :)
ReplyDeleteIt really doesn't matter how many pictures or videos or scrapbooks you have. You can't hold onto the ethereal child, because his job is to grow into an adult.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's better to stop obsessing and start enjoying. Life trickles through our fingers; the best we can do is enjoy it while it flows.
I've had so many of these a-ha moments over the past 15 years. At least you're doing something about it. Maybe you just motivated me to get off my behind and do something about it, too. Thanks for the push!
ReplyDeleteI had the moment tucking in my middle kid the other night. He used to be small and pudgy and sweet. Now he's long and skinny and "cool." *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI probably have less than ten videos of Brooklyn TOTAL. :( I need to buy a proper video camera...and I don't know why I haven't. Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteWe spent mucho dollars on a video camera before my daughter was born (my oldest), and we almost never use it. Thanks for the reminder that one day soon we're going to regret that!!
ReplyDelete