Something About Art

I have this friend who paints. She's a wonderful artist whom I begged for a year to make me something. She finally did. It's awesome.

I call her "the blue lady".

It's the perfect size canvas. She hangs in my bedroom.

The artist is Valerie Nadeau, and you can find her here.

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Another wonderful print I received unexpectedly in the mail was this photo. It was printed on one of those fancy new metallic papers. It is just so vibrant.

I call it "cherry blossoms".

This one hangs in my entry, at the bottom of the stairs, and I see it approximately 673 times a day. I love how it brightens that room.

I feel so lucky to know such great and awesome people.

Trying To Catch Time...

So, I have an explanation... sort of... for why I have been somewhat inconspicuously absent from the interwebs. Here it is: I was going along, minding my own business, when I noticed a comment from a friend on crackbook, making note of an old video I posted. I couldn't quite remember the video because it had been taken almost two years ago. I clicked on it and bam! ... knocked for a loop... I cracked.

After viewing the video over and over and over and over, I did some serious soul and computer searching. It's honestly been rough folks.... This is what you go through when you see you have this video:

... but almost no videos of your little 4 year old between the ages of 2 and 4. The shock sent me weeping to my bed.

I've spent the last few days mourning the loss of his (early) childhood, only reachable through my memories and the (very VERY) few videos I have. I wish I had taken more; I'm so sad that I didn't.

But it's been a good eye-opener. Because of the shock that I have that one and very possibly only this:

... I have made some changes in my life.

This revelation of seeing that my baby has so quickly "grown up" into the dashing sophisticated (*cough*) preschooler that he is today, so quickly with so much going on that I have inadvertantly failed at parenting forgotten to take videos of his precious moments, has forced me to re-evaluate my parenting methods. More precisely: I need to take more videos of him. Having recently found my little Kodak digital point-and-shoot, I've spent the last 5 days videotaping him more than I've done his entire 4 years before this. (Tangent: is it called videotaping when there is no tape, only digital?)

Over-reaction? Not so much. Not when you go from adorable toddler, as seen above, to this:

Sigh. Please stop growing.

*PS: Sorry about the low quality of video... it was actually really good on my computer, but the translation appears to be not so good.

I Finally Figured It Out...

...this is what it's all about:

Love a little more...

A little freer from yourself

(forget about what everyone else thinks because they don't matter)

Give love

With fewer expectations

More acceptance

More tolerance

And more kindness

Just...

... love.

One Day This Past Weekend...

... I ended up going swimsuit shopping. For the record, trying on bathing suits is never easy. Or self-esteem boosting. Even in good lighting. That is, for some of us Mummies... (we mummies who find a late night snack easier to fit in than that taebo dvd). However, it has come time to buy a swimsuit due to recent threats by someone who shall remain nameless to take the family to the water park. Sigh.

To make a fun time even more fun (note the positivity I bring to this adventure? no? only sarcasm? ok, that works too), I brought along my own little dinosaur dude. You know, the roaring ball of prehistoric ferocity in sweats, preschooler-size.

Because everyone needs a cheering section, right. Right?!

Said little dinosaur dude had to be in the change room with me for a couple of reasons: a) he couldn't stay out without me, alone in the store--it's just not safe; 2) his lower lip quivered at the thought of being out there in the store without me, and his panicked eyes convinced me (ruthless predator, indeed! hmmmph!); iii) he was (relatively) cheerful for once.

Too cheerful, as it turned out...

WM: "Avert your eyes! Look away! Mummy's changing."

Little dude (LD): giggle!!!, hands covering his eyes

WM: "Okay, little man, what do you think?"

LD: "Hellooooo, Pretty!"

WM: "Um, okay, what about this one?"

LD: "Mmm, pretty pretty!!!" while hugging WM leg and patting soft and cuddly WM tummy.

WM: "So, how about this other one?"

LD: "Hel-LOOOO PRETTY!!!"

And on and on he went. I could only imagine what the other people in neighbouring fitting rooms must think.

But honestly, in the end I didn't mind after all. It ended up being the best swimsuit shopping experience I've ever had. I actually feel pretty darn good about this bathing suit and what I have to stuff/shove/pour into it. I wonder why that can be?

The next project: turn my attention to the legs.... After going "natural" for the winter months, it might be time to rectify this environmental disaster of shrubbery gone wild. Options: razor? Wax? Weed wacker? Chain saw?

Golden Moments

While yesterday my happy was a bit far away in the morning, a good long afternoon of Evan playing with a buddy from preschool while the mommies chatted over drinks was good medicine. I was relaxed (hell, ya!) and it was a much better end to my day. My heart is also filled with gratitude for the bloggy friends that "showed up" at my blog-step to offer advice, kind words and cyber-hugs. Seriously wouldn't know what to do without you, friends. I'm learning to be more honest and vulnerable here, and so far the world hasn't ended.

Or has it? Hmmmm....

So the hormonal roller-coaster isn't over yet. Just another excellent fun thing from hell to navigate until my operation in January removes my womanly parts. Oh, by the way, TMI happening here. Did I not mention that the unmentionable would be mentioned? Oh. My bad.

So the company and friendliness sort of refreshed me and I'm doing quite well. So well in fact, that I went over my photos, played around, (having fun with it) and wouldn't you know found a picture that--for me--depicts the Christmas feeling from my childhood. Albeit in a rather abstract way.

Murmuring things of Disney

and magic and anticipation,

I am called out of myself --

Excitement for the morrow;

Peace for the moment...

A dash back through yesteryears and before,

for those few treasures in my memory box;

A sparkle, a colour... a haze of sleepy joy gazing up to heaven

through the constellations we made with glitter and lights

Golden moments ... giddy serenity

transfixed with delight ...

a hope, a promise ...

an evergreen prelude of more to come.

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Things I Want To Remember

I hope I never forget just how cute Evan is when he says excitedly with his mouth open wide so I can see the broccoli, "Look! I'm eating my begetables!"

Yes, honey, we can see.

And then he'll laugh his butt off and fart.

.