Catching Up

Or this post can also be entitled: The Crazy $h!t That Goes On In My Days.  It just doesn't sound right, though.  But here I am, with all kinds of crazy ....

* Had a whirlwind trip of over 2,500 kilometres out of province to a beautiful, slightly tropical place just to get the heck away from winter.  In late April.  I know.

* Took up running this week.  By mistake.  I found that I've been almost too late to pick up my son from school – 5 blocks away – because my time management skills apparently need tweaking, and he loves to walk.  So, I race home from work (a one hour commute each way), drop the car off at home, and walk up to the school to meet him.  He is only in grade one after all; he still gets scared if I'm not there on time.  So, I've had to run.  I suck at it.  But I'm also conversely enjoying it.  So I'm making it an intentional thing and, surprisingly, it's not scaring me off it.

* I'm interrupting the writing of this post to continue with my 30-day squat challenge while I watch a new episode of The Big Bang Theory.  (I'm on day 11.)  Life doesn't get better than this.  I know.

* And... I'm back.  In more ways than just finishing my exercising/TBBT episode watching:  I'm well on my way back from a sub-clinical case of The Blahs.  As a professional counselor, I can truly say I was well on my way into The Blechs, heading south through Bored, Lethargic, Apathetic and Morose, and on the fast train to Depressed.  Luckily, the trip, the weather, the exercise, and getting back on my healthy diet all helped to change things around.

* I was gaining weight big time.  No pun intended.  I went up a whole size plus.  Which was scary for me because I worked so hard at being healthy and getting to a comfortable weight for me.  Which was out of control before I got healthy.

* Part of the reason it was going that way, and probably contributing to The Blahs, was the sugar I was starting to eat again.  Oh, it started out innocently enough with some risotto, which I justified because it had delicious turkey bacon and parmesan cheese in it.  But then, I had a bit of pie (with gluten-free crust of course), and then a taste of ice cream, and then another taste of ice cream, and then I ate my way through an ice cream truck.

* My sugar and carb cravings are almost completely gone, and now I'm craving salad and salt.  Not always at different times.

* I'm really enjoying my work with the students I counsel.  At least, I feel more comfortable in that hat, it's coming again a bit more naturally my 3rd year in, after being "out of the game" for several years.

* I'm also enjoying my volunteer time at my son's school.  Kids not related to me talk to me all the time whenever I'm there.  One hugged me once.  It's strangely weird.

* I'm trying to photograph more and edit more of what I photograph.  Needless to say, The Blahs have me backlogged on that, and it's doubtful I'll actually catch up.

* Most of my garden is planted.  Now I'm such an impatient person that, while it's been less than a week, I'm all in a panic because nothing has sprouted yet.  Still need some work on chilling out.  I'm just so excited that it's spring and I can garden!

And... I think that catches me up.  For now.

But, because it just doesn't feel right to not have a photo...




There were a few seagulls keeping pace with the ferry on our way to Vancouver Island, and one in particular was coasting on the air currents coming off the boat.  It was fantastic, sailing in the air so close to where I was standing at the bow.  I had to catch it, and this is only one of several shots.  I may show more... in time.

My Voyage Back From The Edge

Winter was way too long.  While it was still snowing in April, we decided to regain our (my) sanity and take a trip elsewhere.  The (my) stress level was too high to plan a much-needed spontaneous trip to a place with palm trees, sandy beaches and warm sunny weather, so we decided to visit some family and friends in the Vancouver and Victoria areas of BC.  We ended up in a place with palm trees, sandy beaches, and warm sunny weather.  (I love BC.)





Lucky us.

And then when we got back, it turned warm.  We brought spring with us.  Go figure.

Got some pretty pictures of a place I've wanted to visit ever since I became interested in gardening: Butchart Gardens.  Can't wait to share them with you.

Until next time...

Starting My Garden ... Soon, I Hope

The time is again flying by.  Having the in-laws here has kept me more than busy.  It's been a good but ... er, interesting ... vacation.  See, they like to keep busy.  If she's cleaning my house, then he's cleaning my garage.  If she's making treats, then he's making projects.  And then I have to keep up so I won't be "lazy".  And now I'm into such a routine with it over the last few weeks that when they fly out tomorrow I won't know what to do with myself.

I'm already at that stage also because it's snowed almost a foot today.  With more snow forecasted throughout the coming week.  Mother Nature is cruel.  In unrelated news, I plan to take up drinking.

So I have something I'm super-duper excited about... so excited I don't care how dorky "super-duper" sounds.  If you had what I have you wouldn't care either.  It's this: a cold-frame.  Now you see what I mean?  Of course you do!

I'm way too eager to start my garden.  Even though it's still early in the spring, and I live on Santa's doorstep in the Great White North and the Abominable Snowman keeps cr@pping on my yard, I'm still trying to rein myself in.  I've got seeds planted inside and plans for the outside.

Best thing yet, I've got some new raised beds built, thanks to my father-in-law.  They aren't filled with soil yet, but that will come soon enough.  I'm so inspired by them that I may just build another one to add to my "collection", and in that case will have to shift them around a bit for more room, which is easier when they're empty.

My cold-frame:



Note in the background my extra-deep new planting bed?  Super-duper!!!  Yes, that merited extra exclamation marks – I can grow potatoes and carrots and stuff like that in there.  The shorter bed with the cold-frame is still 12 inches deep, so it's deep enough for everything else, including onions and radishes.

Modeling the usage and functionality of my cold-frame, the builder and his grandson:



Why the cold-frame on only half the planting bed?  Because the bed is 8 feet long, and it's a bit awkward to have a long one.  I won't be starting too many plants outside before it's very warm, and I can always build another beside it if I get carried away and plant lots of spinach and lettuce and such before we're done with overnight frosts.

For the warmer part of the year, such as when the danger of frost or snow is over – yes, we have days like that in Alberta – it is removable and can easily be stored out of the way during warm season.  Simply slip the pin out of the hinges in the back, and it comes right off.

This cold-frame cover will extend my growing season so that I can plant earlier and harvest later.  Which, having gone organic and wanting to grow my own food, is going to be fantastic and a real addition to my healthier lifestyle.

Gluten-Free Granola Bars. With Photos.

I honestly don't know where I got this recipe.  Of course, I changed it to suit me.  I had to take out all nuts, and substitute other things.  And because I'm on low- to no-sugar, I reduced the sweetener.  Does that make it mine?  If anyone knows who came up with a similar recipe, I'd like to know.  I'm not taking credit for this one, only that I changed it up enough to suit my – and my son's – dietary needs.

Did I mention that?  I took my son off gluten.  Wow – what a difference!  He doesn't look like he swallowed a football anymore.  Or disastrous bathroom visits.  Or all the temper tantrums.  Not that he had many of those.  It was more the glaring eyes and grouchiness that seemed to be happening constantly.  It was the easily frustrated little boy and give-up-ness that I saw in him on a daily basis.  Taking gluten out seems to have removed the main culprit that was causing that.  He is much happier and more relaxed.  Of course, then there's the dietary substitutions we need to make, which entails it's own frustrations because he does rather like sandwiches.  And it's hard to find or make a good sandwich bread that doesn't break the budget.  I'm working on that, and I might have found a good brand that works in a breadmaker.  The bread turns out a little sweet, but it doesn't have much in the way of crap substitutions... it's mostly rice flour and I can live with that.

But for other treats and snacks... I've dealt with the fact that gluten seems to be in everything, so I've just learned to go without.  But it's hard for a 7 year old who loves to snack.  Add to that, he can't have nuts at school – all nuts are banned, not just peanuts – and it's almost impossible to find a GF nut-free snack.

So I made our own.  Here it is.  (And I took photos this time. Yay for me!)

GF Granola Bars

Preheat the oven to 350 F.

2 cups organic GF oats
1/3 cup sunflower seeds
1/3 cup pumpkin seeds

Chop up the pumpkin seeds a bit, and mix these dry ingredients together.  Toast them for 10 minutes.



1/3 cup raisins
1/3 cup cranberries
1/3 cup black currants
1/4 cup hemp hearts
1/4 cup chocolate chips

Chop up the cranberries and raisins to make them a bit smaller, and mix all these together.





(Note the fancy chopping action.  Which necessitated left-handed photography.  Yes, I do it all.)



3 tbsp butter
1/2 cup honey
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt

Warm the honey and butter until it's all melty and mix until smooth.  Add the vanilla and salt and mix again.



Add the dried fruit mixture into it.



Note to yourself how the chocolate chips melted straight away and curse yourself for this foolishness.

Blend the toasted oat mixture into this sweet mess.



Add more chocolate chips.

Spread into pan.



Note to self that the extra chocolate chips also melted and give up on the chocolate chips.  Make a mental note to add them at the last minute next time.

Bake at 300 F for 25-30 minutes.  (Forget to turn the oven down from 350 and actually bake at that temperature with no problems.)  Let cool for 1 - 3 hours, depending on how cold your house is, so that you can cut them into squares without crumbling or shattering.  It's a fine line.

Enjoy!

A Story In Pictures

I love photography.




I admit it: I love taking pictures.

I'd like to call myself a photographer, but I feel like a poseur.  It doesn't seem enough to call myself a hobbyist, and it almost feels demeaning to call myself "Mom With A Camera" (MWAC), as I've heard it termed.  I'm more than a mom.  I'm more than a hobbyist.  I want to photograph people and get paid for it.  But I don't want to deal with a business.  So, that has me shooting myself in the foot.

I want to focus (pun intended) on taking beautiful photos.  And exciting photos.  And poignant photos. Pretty much any kind of photo except a gosh-awful photo.




I think about what I've learned, and what I've done.  And I worry.

I don't, however, take advantage of every opportunity to photograph because I lack confidence.

Fear holds me back.

Low lighting?  Busy and hectic?  Will I have a photo opportunity at all?  What if I fail?




I don't think I can take a good photo in some situations, so I don't even try.  This fear prevents me from even picking up the camera some days.  I become discouraged and don't touch it for days or even weeks.

Then one day I realize how much I'm missing out on, the memories of Evan that I have but that I want to see in pictures too, and I rush for it only to find my insecurity has increased. And my eye for the moment is gone.

It's scary to reach, again, past the fear.  To try to remember that I'm okay.

That it's good to fail sometimes, because those failures teach me something new... something I've missed.  And most importantly, what IF I fail?  So what?  What's the worst that could happen... in the words of Bob Ross: a happy accident?

That's when I realize I've missed the whole point ...

that... inspiration can find me anywhere...anytime,

and I won't know until I try to reach for the moment.

It's Good To Experiment

Some of my latest obsessions hobbies include growing things.  Actual green things like plants you can eat.  I bought a bakers rack, put it in my dining room against the window, and threw a bunch of pots and seeds at it.  This made good use of the light and at the same time blocked some of it.  "Mom, can you close the blinds?  The light's bothering me."  Um, yeah.  That's not going to happen.



One of the things grown is the basil that I put into my very own pesto.  Which I then froze.  I don't know what I'll use it for, but I've wanted to make my own pesto for a while now.  And I hear freezing it is a good way to store it.



So then I'll have handy little morsels of pesto goodness, whenever I need it.

Which hasn't happened yet.

The homemade fruit roll-ups were a success (no, I didn't grow the fruit): my son approved it.  And that's something.

And the sun tea turned out great.  Of course, it's real California sun tea (in other words, not sweetened). The neighbourhood kids deemed it "Yuck!" and my son said "It tastes like coffee."  Of course, not ever having had coffee, his assessment cannot be considered officially reliable.  But I let him think it was.

I, however, loved it.  One of the perks of drastically reducing your daily intake of sugar (to almost nothing) is that everything tastes sweet.  Even real California sun tea.

New

Playing around with CS6 this morning.





Yes, you read that right.

Coming Soon To A Computer Near You...

Good stuff is happening soon! Can't wait to unveil it. Please stay tuned...

Giddy

Giddy. That's me.

This is why.

Photo courtesy of The Digital Picture. Click here to read all about this amazing piece of technology.

Yep, that's right. It's mine. All mine. It's okay if you're jealous. I'll understand.

And now, look what it can do...

... in low light.

1/30 f/2.0 135 mm ISO 100

Oh, the clarity!

1/13 f/2.0 135 mm ISO 100

Oh, the saturation!

1/100 f/2.0 135 mm ISO 100

Oh, the definition!

1/640 f/2.0 135 mm ISO 100

Oh, the smiles!

1/50 f/2.0 135 mm ISO 100

After all, isn't this what it's all about?

(In the spirit of improving my skills at photography, all shots are SOOC -- straight out of camera -- except for the last one... which needed some levels adjustment because it's sometimes sunny, sometimes darkly overcast and the weather just won't cooperate.)

Toys

So, the big news. Should I share? Should I tell?

It's a dilemma, but I figure, I complain about enough stuff on here. The least I can do is tell the good stuff too, eh?

Yeah, anyways.

So, a woman, a man and a little boy walk into an electronics store. (You think this is a joke? Huh? Moving on...) The man says to the woman, "I'll take *him*. You go look." (Yes, he deserves a medal.) Ten minutes later they all walk out.

The woman has a new lens. (50 mm, 1.8f)

And the other? A pre-owned fish-eye wide-angle with a macro that needed a stepping ring (or two) to make it fit.

See? Some of my stories have happy endings.

Keeping My Sanity

This is the main reason I'm keeping my sanity right now:

I think it's significant enough to share it with other parents. It's worth the time to read it. And that's all I have to say about that.

I Had A Good Good Day

I can't believe what a good day it was today.

I can't believe I wasted so much of yesterday in anxiety and panic attacks just thinking about the dental appointment.

I can't believe I took three scooby-snacks to help me cope.

I can't believe how much it helped, and how -- for the first time in about a year -- I've been pain-free all day.

I can't believe I haven't approached my doctor to find out if I can be on these scooby-snacks ALL THE TIME.

Just sayin'.

Be Careful What You Wish For... aloneness part 3

Thinking about anchors and ways to improve upon my aloneness has honestly occupied much more thought time and space than the aloneness itself. You see, I don't mind the aloneness. I'm hoping that this is evident: I don't wallow in the misery of it, because I don't find it miserable. To a certain extent I enjoy it. More importantly I'm used to it, and one might even say content with it. It has become what I know. In a very short time it has become a part of my life that doesn't feel so unusual at all. It's even easier. I don't have to accommodate others or stretch myself to be part of interactions with others. (That's lazy, I know.) But I know it's not the healthiest thing for my little duo and sometimes trio of a family.

I miss the few (but very great) friends I had made in the last place. It took a long time to find them, and then we had only a short time together. It feels unfortunate at times thinking about it, sometimes even unfair. I was lonely there. But the funny thing is, I was less alone. As I felt less positive connection to both the place and the majority of the community, I felt more alone. Life is strange sometimes. And so those friends who filled in the gaps and supported me and helped ease the loneliness are now so far away. The funny thing is, I'm not so eager to replace them. It's not possible -- those unique and individual personalities that meshed so well with mine just cannot be replaced. I'm becoming okay with that too. The thing now is to find my place here within the community I'm currently living in. Preferably sooner than later so that I'll have more time with them. If anything, I do actually learn from my mistakes.

Forcing me to find friends and my niche is a completely different thing. I can sit here and talk about it and think about it... and I'm okay with that. It's the getting my shy timid self out there to create that reality that terrifies and stupifies me. So then the only way left is to have my hand forced.

And that has come to pass.

I had no idea when I started to write about the aloneness that permeated my life a couple of weeks ago that I would now be, well... here. Because not only has this to do with the circumstance of aloneness, but also with my purpose in life. For as long as I have been back in Canada I haven't been able to find work in my field. Equivalencies that exist in the States don't exist in Canada; there are different rules and regulations for my field, which pertains particularly to me when I have a couple of university degrees that don't exist in Canada. It's my own fault for getting my education in the States and then moving to another country (even back to my own country). It didn't feel like a fair shake, truthfully. I wasn't farsighted enough in my earlier life to foresee this kind of outcome. Actually, even if I had foreseen it, I wouldn't have believed it -- it wasn't in my plans. So, the years pass and there I was: in an isolated region of a country that didn't acknowledge one of the most profound parts of me. I lost my career; I lost my purpose. More importantly, I lost my anchor. I became a mom and struggled to find a new anchor. And then I tried to find a new purpose in my life.

A couple of weeks ago I acted on a hunch -- an impulse -- and contacted a former instructor who lives near this area that I now live in. I wanted to see what I would need to do to meet the local equivalencies and perhaps become a candidate for a residency... a shortcut to "starting over". Even as I embarked upon a new purpose as a photographer, I was still pursuing the old purpose -- that undefinably significant part of myself that I had invested so much time and energy and money in creating and that had reached deep into the core of my being and just would not let go. I could not let go. The grieving I've been doing over the past 5 years realizing the end of my dream... well, it didn't move me forward. I was stuck in it. I couldn't let go. And so it had become a part of me to just keep trying. It wasn't about not giving up; it was more about not knowing what else to do.

Back to a short end to this long story: this person I contacted offered me a chance to fill a position that she no longer needed. I inquired as to a lead for a residency... and landed a job. (This position is unique in my field in that because of the nature of this position, the only certification requirement is the most basic one, one that I already possess, and I imagine had this position become publicly known there would have been the most fierce competition for it. It is also unique due to it's part-time nature: one day a week... just enough to get me back.) She calls me a life-saver, a dream come true, in taking over for her. I could say the same....

The shock has about worn off, particularly since my first day was yesterday, and the fit was like putting on an old broken-in comfortably ratty pair of tennies. You know what I'm talking about.

This isn't just about re-finding my niche, re-finding my anchor -- this is about the first big step in challenging the dark.

Stay tuned. There's more to come.

Steven Spielberg, Eat Your Heart Out

So.... this is what happens when my son's obsession and my new obsession collide. I'm no James Cameron or Eric Steelberg, but I think I'm off to a good start.

Why Homeschooling Is NOT For Me... Or Him

I've been thinking about homeschooling since I was pregnant and idealistic. From what I've been hearing everywhere, it's not just for freaky conspiracy-theorists who live in the woods anymore.

I had visions of using a wholistic model of learning (and here I'm just making this stuff up as I go along, so all those educators please go easy on me.... I'm not a trained educator)... field trips and learning one-on-one and having discussions and not being tied to a desk. Learning as fast -- or as slow -- as he needs to, and turning everything into a fun learning experience.

It actually sounds wonderful -- knowing just what your child is learning and making sure that he gets a well-rounded education, especially with getting out and being all hands-on, going places and providing unique experiences.

It sounds like a lot of work on my part though, but I'm down with that.

What I'm not down with is the surprising discovery I've made in living with my son. It's something I've been struggling with for a while, and it's not going away. So I'm being courageous here and speaking up: he thinks I'm dumb as sh*t. I was hoping this wouldn't happen until he was at least 13, but apparently adolescence hits much earlier nowadays. Like, at 3 and 4.

He asks questions incessantly, because he's curious and that's great. And when I answer he replies inevitably "No, that's not right." That's not as great. Unfortunately our conversations typically end with a motherly sigh and these horrible words coming out of my mouth: "If you don't like the answers, please don't ask me questions."

Oh yeah, I'm stifling his learning already. And it's totally made me not want to teach him anything. Not even a little bit. Examples:

Shoes with actual laces? He can learn it in high school. They make velcro-strap shoes until then. I know -- I've checked.

Wiping his own butt? He can figure that one out by himself.

Making the bed? Why does it need to be made? It's just going to get un-made at night.

Counting in order -- not skipping 14 and going straight to 28, 29, 20-10, 20-11? Actually, it has it's own logic, but somewhere somehow someone will set him straight. I hope. God knows I've tried, but he likes his own numbering system best.

Constructing paper airplanes (so I can get a break from everything dinosaur)? Nope. No-way. No-how. Turns out, I'm a paper airplane making machine and he's content to beg me to make more and then chuck them at me. He is very good at making them fly, and it has become an all-consuming new interest, so it is successful in that there are no dinosaurs involved. For now. Mission completed. (Knock on wood.)

And I won't even get into how much he tunes me out and I have to repeat everything I say in very precise tones, if you know what I mean, and then make him parrot back what I said to be sure that he does in fact hear (contrary to what it appears) and that he can understand what I'm saying. The good news is, comprehension of my statements is increasing. I can tell by the tantrums when he doesn't like what I say.

So, I guess I won't be following this homeschooling fad after all -- darn it -- and I'll be subjecting him to the local school system.

I'm good with that right now. It just feeds my personal belief system of fundamental laziness whenever possible. Win-win.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Yes, that day has come. It's here. And it's a good day.

It's raining and cool, which is a nice break from the humidity.

I love heat. I'm not on speaking terms with humidity.

Though I'll be happy when the rain stops and the weather warms up.

Because rain makes me nauseous.

(Thank you, Fibromyalgia. You're the gift that keeps on giving.)

Today is a special day, because I was born on this day, of course.

But it's also an everyday.

It's an everyday in that I still have chores.

Laundry never ever goes away.

Never on vacation.

Certainly never on an everyday.

Even if it's a special everyday.

And especially if there's a little boy and a chocolate frosted cake involved.

I still experiment.

Yes, that's a rainbow cake. The first of many, I'm sure.

I still procrastinate.

And I still play. With light. With pictures.

And did I say I experiment? Yeah, I thought so.

Didn't I say it was raining? Yeah, the storm is really coming in.

It's swirling around, the clouds moving across the sky with light speed.

And the winds howling. My favorite part of a storm, truth be told.

After all, if it's going to storm, it might as well go all out.

And the special everyday things will continue... eating cake, cleaning up, cuddling, watching the storm out my window, and listening to the sounds of play.

My beautiful everyday.

**************************

Beth is featuring Everyday things today at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

I'm Too Positive For My Own Good

So, today was really different than yesterday. Just so you know I'm not a pansy or a wuss, or really actually that bad off. The weakness I had yesterday passed and today I'm good, as so often is the case with this Fibro. (One day I'm doing TaeBo, the next I'm flat on my back fighting the fatigue, and the day after that I'm chasing my son down the street yelling at him to "get back here right now, mister!") Yesterday, I could barely walk. I mean, I did walk, but it was hard. Walking upstairs put me out of breath. I couldn't lift my little boy to the monkey bars. And it was hard and frustrating. But once I realized it was the Fibro, I relaxed and didn't worry so much. It was, all in all, a good day.

(Excuse me while I throw up a bit over that excessive positivity.)

Today? Well, I took him for a bike ride. I didn't realize it was so far, but after we walked back home and I checked the distance in the car (while we went to pick up his bike, which he rode so hard it broke -- okay, so it didn't break; the chain came off and the da&% chain-guard was in the way and I couldn't get the da#@ chain back on after several minutes of cursing trying)....

We walked 2.5 kilometres (1.5 miles for my American friends). Holy cupcakes!!! He's only four, but a real trooper. He sang "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" to keep his spirits up and him going. He's tuckered out and boy, is he going to sleep tonight! (Yee-haw! Ahem, I mean, yay for me!)

And me...

I walked 5 kms (3.2 miles). Definitely better than yesterday. So I'm not complaining (for once!). This Fibro thing is a big ol' ugly butt. But I'm bigger and uglier, and I got it scared good.

Something To Complain About! Yay!!!

Tired.

So tired.

Actually this goes beyond tired. It's spaghetti legs and jelly arms and all sorts of other random invertebrate-ness. (And it's actually not metaphorical, this time.) It's real. And not fun.

My muscles are useless. Why am I so tired and fatigued at times? (Not all the time. Sheesh.) The only position that's comfortable is the lying down position. Oh yeah, and the don't-ask-me-questions-you-already-know-the-answer-to position, along with the please-dress-yourself-because-you're-4-years-old and let's-not-play-chase-today positions. And let's not forget the classic please-listen-to-me-when-I'm-talking-to-you and what-did-I-just-say? stances. Those are my particular favorites.

Oh, it feels good to complain! I feel so much happier now. Seriously.

I'm A Frickin' Genius

Continuing in yesterday's theme: more wonderful things in my life.

Apparently, I'm brilliant. Yes, I'm a frickin' genius. At least, that's what I surmise after much brow furrowing and banging of the head on the wall. Why else would my four-year-old son wake me up every morning with what appears to be pop quizzes for I'm Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader or university entrance exams or maybe even Mensa.

Climbing up on my bed and often snuggling in with me for a few minutes, he covers every topic: from the mundane to the abstract, from the intricate interpersonal relationships of his friends toys to the rastafarian.

"Where's Chloe?"

"Why is the sky blue, Mummy?"

"What are they doing?" Holding out his dinosaur/animal/superhero figurines to me.

"What does purple taste like?"

And this is all before I can fully open my eyes or unglue my tongue in my mouth and croak "Whaaaaa???" in the fully perspicacious way that I have about me as the sun begins to rise.

His faith in my estimable cognitive powers appears to be vast, as he doesn't wait for a fully formed answer to be completed before launching his next verbal missile.

I like to be concise and not miss any nuance of his enquiries, so I sometimes wait until he finishes his bucket list of questions before my essay-like answers. At least, that's my intention. However, if a question goes unanswered for even a millisecond, he repeats it in ever-increasing frequency and pitch. His expectations are clear: rapid-fire question and answer format shapes my every. waking. moment.

While college and university did indeed enrich my thoughts and refine my sagacity, I think his belief in the depth and breadth of my intelligence far outweighs the reality of the grey matter that rests within my skull. Because, it is true, is it not, that it's all down-hill... brain-wise... after university? Unless you're actually, you know, using your brain?

Whatever braininess I had left the pregnancy sucked right out of me. I can't tell you how many times a day I forget how old I am or what I'm supposed to get from the store or what my name is. And a new address and phone number? Forget it. I wrote it down and keep that crucial scrap of paper in my purse to refer to for the next 10 years or until the next move. Whichever comes first. (This all makes me sound really old and sad, doesn't it? Well, I'm actually not. I think. I forget. Where was I? Oh yes, questions.)

But the question that really haunts me is: what is this everlasting pop quiz preparing me for?

Did You Know...

... that cyberspace isn't completely environmentally friendly? Computer servers give off carbon dioxide. Just another thing that makes me go: hmmmmm.....

So, to correct this oversight on my part, I'm joining a green initiative, which will make this blog carbon neutral. Go team!

Because I do this:

A tree will be planted in the name of my blog. And the angelic choruses will sing on high, or something like that. (Or maybe I've been thinking too much of Christmas lately. Don't know why. Happens every summer. But enough about that. I want sun!)

And guess what? I'm planting a tree, too! Go team!

Okay, so does it count if I was going to plant one anyway for aesthetic purposes? A lilac tree? It does in my book.