Growing

Thank you for still being there!

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Here's a bit of my growing things:



Yes, those are tomato plants.  They are so big, the branches are breaking.  Despite supports.  It's a good thing, I suppose.



And the sunflower the little guy planted:



He definitely is little next to it!

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And I'm feeling good about starting to look at the world around me through my lens again.  Thank you for the warm welcome back.  It means much to me that I've connected and then reconnected back with some wonderful people.  It's good to be here.

His Heart

Someone finished up speech therapy today.

Someone wrote a "note" to his speech therapist and brought cut out hearts his daddy made. (Yes, let's all just say "Awww!" and get it over with.)

The sounds /k/, /g/, and /s/ are now being heard every single day, all day long. It's a great thing for him to be talking and knowing that everyone can understand him, not just me.... but now it doesn't stop. Not at all during the day. Actually, now, it's all day long, and yes, he even talks in his sleep. So it doesn't stop at night.

Yes, I've learned my lesson: be careful what you wish for.

Oh, yes, I've learned.

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Trying To Catch Time...

So, I have an explanation... sort of... for why I have been somewhat inconspicuously absent from the interwebs. Here it is: I was going along, minding my own business, when I noticed a comment from a friend on crackbook, making note of an old video I posted. I couldn't quite remember the video because it had been taken almost two years ago. I clicked on it and bam! ... knocked for a loop... I cracked.

After viewing the video over and over and over and over, I did some serious soul and computer searching. It's honestly been rough folks.... This is what you go through when you see you have this video:

... but almost no videos of your little 4 year old between the ages of 2 and 4. The shock sent me weeping to my bed.

I've spent the last few days mourning the loss of his (early) childhood, only reachable through my memories and the (very VERY) few videos I have. I wish I had taken more; I'm so sad that I didn't.

But it's been a good eye-opener. Because of the shock that I have that one and very possibly only this:

... I have made some changes in my life.

This revelation of seeing that my baby has so quickly "grown up" into the dashing sophisticated (*cough*) preschooler that he is today, so quickly with so much going on that I have inadvertantly failed at parenting forgotten to take videos of his precious moments, has forced me to re-evaluate my parenting methods. More precisely: I need to take more videos of him. Having recently found my little Kodak digital point-and-shoot, I've spent the last 5 days videotaping him more than I've done his entire 4 years before this. (Tangent: is it called videotaping when there is no tape, only digital?)

Over-reaction? Not so much. Not when you go from adorable toddler, as seen above, to this:

Sigh. Please stop growing.

*PS: Sorry about the low quality of video... it was actually really good on my computer, but the translation appears to be not so good.

Hot Parenting Tip #17

I just put my little guy down for the night.  (Knock on wood,) it's going well.

We've been having some issues with wanting to climb into WackyMummy's bed in the middle of the night for, oh, six weeks or so.  He's never really been into stuffed toys, other than Stinky, that is, so I didn't know how he would take to a stuffed toy as a transitional object.  He never accepted a binky/sucky/soother, sucked his thumb, or has had any one toy or blanket he's treasured.  Basically, he has had nothing to do with transitional objects, at least, not like other children I've seen.  So that brings us back to now: how to get this pesky little problem solved. (Another pesky problem that has cropped up is when he gets in bed and falls back to sleep I'm dealing with a mini-Darth Vader who has pushed me to using ear plugs so I return to sleep).

I spent some time talking to him about how when he is lonely when he wakes up at night he needs to cuddle with a night-time friend.  He has a plethora of under-used very neglected stuffed friends that people keep giving and Wack keeps getting suckered into purchasing (usually because I think they're cute, so yeah, I can take the heat).  Out of this managerie he chose his first Build-a-Bear toy ever: a basic teddy with no frills (or clothes, poor little guy).  In the spirit of this new adventure Evan came up with a name for this bear: Dirty Turdy.  (There are times when the don't-ask, don't-tell policy suits us fine....)  

His acceptance of Dirty Turdy has been half-hearted.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  I don't focus on those failures.... the failures that lead him to crawl in with mommy in her bed, and over the course of the night systematically and with great precision kick me from shoulder to knee.  Then I flip over in agony and he starts working his way back up the other side.  He's nothing if not thorough.  Can you see how well I'm not focussing on them?

Concurrently there's also the issue of potty-training.  Evan's been potty-trained since early March, but there have been the occasional night-time blunder.  Usually mine as I haven't prepared properly for night-time very consistently.

The strange thing is how these two separate issues are merging: he's cuddling Dirty Turdy occasionally and having fewer accidents.  It's only over the past week that he's been out of any kind of night-time diaper/pullup or other crutch.  It's just him... the bed... and Dirty Turdy.  

Is DT the key?  Is my laid-back approach to the problem working?  Is he just developmentally ready and all of this is completely irrelevant?

See for yourself how it's working.  He and Dirty Turdy are a team.  A successful team.

Sweet Serenity

After a turbulent few days of Evan channelling a teenage girl (including sudden mood changes, erratic diet, and brief psychotic breaks from reality), I'm happy to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, he's having another growth spurt. At least, that's the demon I call these personality changes. Added to that the fact that he cannot fit most of his clothing after these episodes, I'd call it a safe bet.

Here's to Peace, Sweet Peace!

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The Playboy: A Photo Diary

As always, Carrie is hosting her Friday Foto Finish Fiesta. Enjoy our wacky contribution and then head over and see all the other great pictures and links posted.

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Tuesday was such a perfect day for the preschool picnic. I think they outdid themselves. At least, the weather was perfect, he played hard and he had a good time. (Moreso, they completely wore him out, so they are officially my new heroes.)

Below is the photo diary from his day. I followed him around and, believe it or not, found I could see word bubble over his head, which made it really easy to figure out what he was up to.

"Gotta find me some action."

"Sweet! Let's play ball."

"Gotta keep up!" (((puffing))) "Now I'm doing it!"

"Ooh! She's cute! I think she likes me!
Hmmmm.... how does that flirting thing work now?"

"Score! I got her number!"

My Big Boy

Evan is in a weird stage. I think it's weird because he must be a little boy... I mean, he's only 3. I know that. And yet, he "acts" like he's bigger. He tries to be so much tougher, stronger, even meaner. (I don't mean cruel, just, you know... meaner.... I don't know how to explain, except that he frowns more when he knows I'm watching, acts rougher, etc.) He's more serious, at times; he's trying to be manly, I know (maybe from being around his Apma???). He's like two different people. I love the energetic, happy, silly little boy that he is, and I'm trying to like this big boy that he's trying to become. (I don't want him to grow up too fast, or try to be someone he's not, or ... you know, I worry way too much!)

The thing is, I don't know how to relate at times. It's an awkward stage for both of us. I forget he's so little at times, because of this new "bigger" version, and expect more of him (or ask more of him) than he is able to be right now. I really don't mean to! And then there's times that I treat him like he's still "little" (which he is), and he doesn't like it because he's trying to be "big".

Usually I just kind of sit back (when I can) and watch. Just try to see him and praise him and observe him aloud. ("Look at that: you lifted that by yourself! You're so strong!" That kind of stuff. I don't know if I'm all wrong here or not... I don't know what the heck I'm doing so I'm just making it up as I go along.) He usually responds with a puffed out chest saying, "I am strong. I'm a big boy." It makes me giggle. And what can I say, I like to make him happy.

I just want him to grow up liking himself. And I say "no" and "bad" to enough stuff that I have to look for what I can to say "yes" and "good" to. He's a boy and a cyclone at that. And a little know-it-all, so I have to fight for my position as Alpha Dog. Some days I would love to sit back and let him run the show (because I'm just not up for the struggle), but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't look out for him, so I have to keep fighting. And I'm fighting for him: my big boy. Every day.

I just need to remind myself of that sometimes.
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Frustrated Freakin' Friday

Here's my participation in Carrie's Friday Foto Finish Fiesta. Now, get yourself over there and see all the other great pictures and links posted.

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I'm frustrated beyond measure today with certain control freak people in my life who, through all good intentions, interfere with my self-esteem and mothering. While I'm not exactly a doormat (most of the time), I somehow give the illusion that I'm laying down screaming "welcome" while I get tramped on. I do try to say "no," but I guess I'm just not convincing enough.

The Boy must be having another growth spurt; I'm his mother, I recognize the symptoms: up half the night, needy, I had to sleep with him, he needed tylenol in the middle of the night, and he's inexplicably emotional and contrary today. And he's limping and says his knee hurts. As there is no bruising or swelling, no out-of-the-ordinary accidents, and cannot remember what made his knee hurt, I've deduced it's Something Else. Something that requires him to whine and cry and fuss about ALL the little things. (I mean, moreso than usual.) A phone call that he doesn't get to answer in time (because he can't run to the phone and get it) sends him spiralling over the edge to what he calls "the end of my world."

I understand. He needs extra patience and cuddles from me today. He's needs some time to chill and play with his playdough or that new marker set I've been hiding for a "rainy day". He needs his mom time.

What he got was Someone interfering because Someone else knows better what to do and how to handle it. I tried saying no and compromising (because I love a win-win), but somehow I just don't have a handle on working it out to my advantage. It's not the end of my world, but it IS a low point at the end of my week.... I just want to be with my boy.

I want to teach him to work through his frustrations, and that Mommy can take care of things just as well as you-know-who, if not better. I want him to know that he can have a bad day, for whatever reason, and still learn to turn it around into something good. (Okay, I know I'm not the poster child for THAT life philosophy, but I'm learning too.)

I want to be allowed to be the Mom I'm trying to be. Wacky or not.

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Roasting Wienies

You know winter is gone for good when you have your first wienie roast of the year. While I recycle like an obsessive-complusive, I don't always compost, so I have a nice collection of deadwood I've scavanged from the edge of my yard (technically the edge of the woods next to my yard, but that's merely semantics, right?). We needed to burn stuff tonight--in part due to Evan's request, but also to get the dead stuff cleaned up while we're "making over" our yard. Tonight was so calm and peaceful (and not much like the rest of the week) so I just let it all go and made him happy with a campfire. Our little campfire is approximately 3 and half feet across and lined with rocks, but the seared earth extends a little further out... we take our campfires seriously. (To date, several trees at that end of the woods have died from smoke inhalation, leaving up a few upright dead ones which have become inhabited by beautiful red-headed woodpeckers. Ooops.)

Evan has been around fires since, well, shortly after his birth. He's fascinated by fire. But he's learned to respect it and is pretty good about it, so I watch him but I don't worry. We picked up pine cones and deadfall and got our little pile up to a fairly respectable blaze. Which then concerned me because the wind picked up and headed towards the woods. I kept a close watch on that, and thank goodness the fire behaved... as good "little" fires do.

Then I got the brilliant idea of a wienie roast. Yes I did. We got our food together, dusted off the old crate we use as a table and just went hog-wild. I was so relaxed and having fun with Evan... almost makes me believe that his recent growth spurt is over. (Yes, my friends, about an inch in under 2 weeks). Those few nights of misery (mine and his) and his recent personality change were, thankfully not a permanent alteration nor a sign of future ritalin scrips, so Yay!!! But back to our story.... he ended up eating 3 hot dogs, all on his own. Then he asked for more. Luckily I knew better than to give him all that he wanted (but only from my dear friend and mentor: experience), so I cut him off and we went inside. Yes, it was a campfire, but darn, it was getting cool.

Thought I'd like to share a picture or 2 or more of our very first roast of the season. Summer's almost here! Yippee!!!

He takes his job pretty seriously.

Or, I should say, he takes MY job pretty seriously. What the heck. He just takes my job!

I think I could handle more of his cooking!

My dirty little guy! Awww!

I just went with the mess... I mean, we were outside. Why fight it?!

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This Idiot's Guide to Parenting

Staying up late last night while waiting for the Advil and antihistamine to kick in enough for me to both breathe and sleep at the same time (contrary to popular belief, having a head cold sucks), I indulged in my favorite pasttime: reading other mommy blogs about perfect families and parenting and incredibly long and in-depth articles (too long to be called blogs) about how this one or other mommy knows so much about parenting that they deserve a PhD in it, and investigating the valid and varied viewpoints on everything from breast-feeding to the politics of marital partners in co-parenting. (Sorry about such a long run-on sentence: cold medicine makes me edgy.) This also gave me ample opportunity to step back and observe my aimless attempts and compare myself to the super-moms out there (another favorite pasttime of mine).

And I was left with but one conclusion: I know nothing.

I have not had deep profound insights into the socioeconomic implications of my diet during pregnancy. I did not have long roundtable discussions with sophisticated yuppie mommies about the political manifestations of the stay-at-home-mom (SAHM), which by the way was never my intention to become. While I did create a basic birth plan (like I followed that to the letter... yeah, right!), I did not develop a child-rearing manifesto with all the million trillion minute possible situations mapped out and resolved ahead of time.

My parenting plan goes something like this: "OMG, what is this?" "Holy hell, how do I clean it up?" "Good lord, now what do I do?" "Evan, give me a moment to compose myself, analyse the situation and come up with a pro-active resolution that will address the immediate concerns and also establish guidelines and a set course of action for the future, as well as curb future endeavors on your part to break outside my carefully selected and implemented boundaries." Okay, so that last remark doesn't actually go precisely like that... in all actuality, it goes a bit like this: "Evan, stop it and go to your room and think about what you did!!!"

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm parenting "by the seat of my pants." And now I just feel dumb and uneducated about it. Here's what's crazy: I used to teach parenting. Not just any parenting, but parenting to caregivers with problem children. Now is the time for me to say: WTF?! What was I thinking?! What the heck did I know about it?!!! Even back then I did not immerse myself in long drawn-out discourses and debates about the ramifications of co-sleeping or feeding your child only organic foods. And never did I even consider cloth diapers. (Why would I do that to myself??!!)

While I do read the occasional parenting book and scan the internet periodically for articles targetting specific issues, I don't really research. I don't dive into peer-reviewed medical journals. I don't know how La Leche League was founded or even why. (Not bragging, here... it just never occurred to me to think about it.) And I don't know exactly what and how much is out there that I don't know.... But I bet it's a lot.

(I don't want to come across like I don't care about bettering myself and my parenting techniques or that I don't want to learn, but so far in my reading, there's too many contradictions and differing beliefs that it's hard to know what is the "truth" and what will work. It seems to me that it's a lot of trial and error, and learning from one's mistakes. I do try to learn and do better every day. I really do. I mean, I love my son and want the best for him. But how do I figure out now what is the best method? Too much "knowledge" (out there on the internet) is a dangerous thing.)

So here I am: ignorant, unsophisticated, primitive, stubborn, unaware...

...My poor poor child! However will you manage to grow up to be the intelligent, kind, loving, creative, ambitious, passionate and thoughtful person I'd like you to be? Is it too late for you... for me... for us? Somebody, save him from my parenting blunders!!!

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Growing Pains

I'm in the market for a new template for this site. Anyone with suggestions? The characteristics I would like to have are:

• Wider format to lose the empty space on the sides
• Bright (not too bright) colors, similar to what I have now
• Free
• Prefer the text centered between 2 columns for extra stuff

Please leave a comment with your suggestions, or a link to where I could get what I'm looking for. Thanks so much!

Happy Birthday, Evan!

Today is the day. My boy turns 3. While it's a happy and exciting occasion for us (considering the theoretical developmental leaps and bounds that are to occur today, according to the child-raising books I've read), he's rather blase about it. I mean, he had his party on Sunday--the main reason I haven't been seen around here all week, recovering from the chaos. Seriously though, it wasn't bad. Seven guests, aged 3 to 7 (not including the parents), were very very well behaved. All I can say was, they played well, my son did not cause any bodily damage to anyone, and they followed directions. Also surprisingly, my son did not lose control unwrapping gifts. He would have been happy after the first gift to just sit back and examine it at leisure and have fun with it. We had to keep reminding him and bringing him back to open the other gifts. The adults and guests, I think, had more fun with the opening of gifts than he. However, that's not to say he doesn't enjoy them! He's loved every one of them, and has played with them all. Some of them even have kept him occupied for whole minutes at a time! Yay! Due to this unexpected windfall of presents, he has effectively doubled his dinosaur collection. The guests gift bags also had dino themes, and the cake.... well, the cake can speak for itself. It went off well enough... better than I ever expected... the guests were happy... cleanup was a breeze... and to top it all off, I got the house cleaned when I got home. (Must have been all that sugar from the party giving me a little boost.) No wonder I haven't been able to move since!

Check out how well the children are just sitting there decorating their treat... no fighting, poking each other, getting into anyone else's brownie "craft".... I've never seen anything like it. How lucky did we get!!!

Works of art!!!

Yay for more dinos.

Happy birthday, my little man. Happy birthday.

Training Days

Here's an update on the whole potty-training thing, because I made such a big deal about it before. I just have this to say:

Potty-training? What potty-training? He's done. Trained. Just like that! It happened so smoothly it seemed almost anticlimactic.

Mummies, if you're having trouble training or feeling ready, you need to try this. It's worth it. He's was trained in less than 3 days. I started last Thursday afternoon and felt fully confident that I could send him to preschool today. No problems. To tell the truth, I fully expected it to fail; I expected the ad and method to be a scam. Yet I tried it. Talk about going out on a limb. So glad I did! Now it's over and done with.

As a celebration, I'm offering my leftover diapers (Pampers, size 6, 23 count) and training pants (Easy-Ups, size 5 boys, 33 count) to a deserving mummy and toddler in the Lunenburg County area. Spread the word. Comment on this post and I'll contact the first one to request them. =)

'Tis the Season.... For Potty-Training!

I've been seeing this ad on my blog page for several days and it finally really got my attention last night. So I checked it out. In case you, dear reader, haven't noticed (or the ad changes), it's about potty-training your child in only 3 days.

Glory hallalujah! The promised land!

So of course I had to see. (And no, the creator of this method didn't put me up to this... I don't even know if she knows. I mean, I did send her an email that I was going to publicly document our progress... but anyways....)

I've been really really wanting Evan potty-trained, but had given up trying. For one thing, I don't know how. For another, I'm short on patience and tolerance, not to mention confidence in the whole mommy thing. All the advice in the world, and there was plenty, did not instill confidence in my ability to handle it. I don't like messes. And I don't deal well with failure. And this would be all about messes (Evan's) and failure (mine). I'm more than confident in Evan's readiness for this process. I mean, for cryin' out loud, he's almost 3! I'm more worried that if I don't know what I'm doing, I'm only going to hinder and confuse him.

So this website promotes a way to do it in only 3 days. Even I have that much patience, so I thought I'd give it a try. I paid the fee, accessed the information, and prepared. By preparation I mean running all my errands, getting incentives and rewards, going over and over my mental plan, and getting the cupboards stocked for the time we're "confined". (It's important we stay focused on our goal, so I'm "going by the book".) I let the day care and babysitter know what we're doing, and they're on board. I got groceries, returned unopened packs of training pants, and hit the liquor store. I'm ready! ;) (So far today, it's been all about the accidents, but that's okay... I'm "letting" Evan clean up his own messes.)

For the next 3 to 5 days I will persevere. And if we can do it, anyone can.

Countdown

Okay, the last post was a bust. Didn't even get a single idea in the food department. Oh well.

So, I've been reading in the baby books how when a child becomes 3 years old, he instantly and officially leaves behind the "terrible twos". Wow! I did not know that! I'm so happy I could cry! And the official countdown towards this mysterious and magical transformation happens: 33 days until The Boy turns 3. Yay! I'll let you all (my one reader, that is) know how Evan's personality change turns out.

Random

Is it just me, or a sign of being a single parent that no matter how much I love my little boy, what I most look forward to at the end of the day is a drink? Hmmmm..... Did I say end of the day? I meant lunchtime....

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I feel the need to go shopping for sweatpants for Evan again. Second-hand stores: here I come! Fellow shoppers: watch out... Grouch on the loose!

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Here I am, back from another visit from The Boy's father. Don't know much what's going on in my life other than "things change." My favorite quote, that I can actually remember that is, is from the Bible. It's not a quote in and of itself, but usually a prelude to the description of an event or situation in the gospels. It goes like this: "And it came to pass...." That's all. And it's the most true thing I know. No matter what happens, it also moves on. Things don't just come along, plop down in your lap, look you in the eyes and say "I'm here to make your life a living hell." No...it just seems like it sometimes. Things actually have a way of moving on. And so do we.

...And We're Back

Back from the trip. Okay, actually we were back on Wednesday, and I've spent a couple of days trying to get rid of my headache. Is it a coincidence that I'm feeling like crap here, mainly headaches that nothing gets rid of... even been to the doctor and short of vicodin there's nothing that helps. The moment the plane lands in Alberta, land of the west and the mountains and the fields, my headache goes. The moment we land back here in Nova Scotia, land of the eternal boondocks and hurricanes, my headache returns. Yesterday felt like I had a baby elephant squeezed in between my brain and my skull. (A full-grown elephant wouldn't have fit.) Finally today (the storm is supposed to hit tonight) my headache goes. My osteotherapist said that geography is in fact often related to health, that there's a geographical tie to the place you're born/raised. As I was raised in the mountains, I guess I'm finding it difficult here on the east coast. Is that a good excuse? In the meantime, I'm trying to suck it up.

I think I have Evan enrolled in daycare. We're checking it out on Tuesday, and see if he'll go. They apparently understand my situation, and are being very humane to me (and Evan). I hope he'll be so excited to socialize with other children he won't even notice that his wacked mummy is gone.

Yes, Evan had a nice visit with his daddy. As did I. I, however, did not get any "time alone" with him because of a) a severe cold on daddy's part, b) an extra clingy boy who does NOT travel well, c) same said boy went on a growth-rampage and stretched a whole inch in 2 weeks!, and d) my old Aunt Flo came a-visiting. If this keeps up, I can become a nun after all! We're hoping to see daddy around Christmas time... another 3 months... good luck! And just for kicks, let's see how Evan did at his auntie's wedding....


Yeah, I've felt like that too. Happy weekend all!

Our Trip, Part Two

It's later on into our trip.... here we are, sitting pretty in Calgary.... staying at a friend's home, which Evan observed is "so pretty, so towery", I'm sure referring to the vaulted ceilings. Yes, I would love to have vaulted ceilings, but it's not in my immediate future. In the meantime, Evan will have to soak up all the ambience he can here.

On the plus side, we seem to be past our traveller's curse(s). I think Evan might have also been going through a growth spurt, because he's sleeping better (after not sleeping well for 3 nights, which means I slept worse than poorly as I'm his transitional object on trips away from home) and he suddenly seems way taller, or his clothes are shrinking. Is it just me, or does it seem that I never seem to know when my toddler is having a growth spurt, and I realize it after the agony? Seriously, I can't see the forest for the trees sometimes! Now we're enjoying the beautiful weather, spending some time with family and friends, taking it easy.... Life is pretty good.

On the minus side, I broke a toe. Again. Second one this year.



Yes, I believe I mentioned my clumsiness before. I was helping my sister tidy up her house as she's getting ready for her wedding, which is why we're here several thousand kms from home, and I smashed my foot into something or with something, I don't remember because my I'm always doing something stupid like that. Anyways, the toe swelled and turned various shades of blue, purple, black and green, and despite Evan's many kisses to "cure" my toe, it still is damaged. A nurse friend says it looks more broken than sprained, but it hurts surprisingly little. Go figure. I can walk and everything. So I can't run and chase Evan, or play rough, but I don't feel like it anyway right now... I got me some sleep to catch up on tonight! Sleep tight everyone!