Turns Out The Guy I Thought Was My 'Best Friend' Is A Sell Out ... True Story

So, like, I'm hardly ever here lately. Some lame excuse about being busy and having X number of projects on the go, and doing good things with the boy and around the house, etc, etc, etc. Lame. But there you have it.

Also, I don't even know what this space is for anyway. It's kind of morphed on me and I feel a bit intimidated about what goes here. So nothing comes out. Blogger's block or something.

But then I ran across this local ad and since it has to be the coolest ad ever, I have to share it. It's from kijiji (Canada's Craiglist). (It's just as it was printed on kijiji, typos and syntax and everything. That's part of what makes this so whacked out awesome.) FYI: don't accuse me of plagiarizing. I mean, it's totally plagiarized, but I don't want to hear about it.

"I hate myself as I write this..... I hated cats untill 11 years ago when I was 19, and I happened to stumbled across my most solid friend I've ever known, meowing in a dumpster, she was about a year old back then, and she was f*%ked up, someone had abused her and threw her in the dumpster to die. I took her out of what was supposed to be her blue BFI dumpster coffin and took her to the vet. My plan was to pay for her repairs and then let them deal with her from there. Didnt work out that way....I ended up taking her home. For the next seven years she was the Bonnie to my Clyde. She has seen, and been through some s#!t, think about it, I was 19 when I got her. Then 3-4 years ago everything changed...... I fell in love with a girl, who would become my wife, and Paris got less attention. My wife and I had a baby.... Paris was not impressed with the attention she WASNT getting.... you gotta remember, through all the house party's, girlfriends, housemoves... through it all, it was me and her, she could always count on me to be there at the end of the night scratching her her ears. Now my daughter is 2 and her and Paris have come to an understanding, "You can pet me, but if you pull my tail, I will mess you up kid." Great! everything is working out perfectly! I got a gorgeous wife, a beautiful daughter and my lil bud whos been there from the start of it all. However my wife couldnt resist my sexual charisma, and now shes pregnant again, and who can figure out women? not me, thats for sure, but anyhoo, this "Doctor" aka (Quack) that she is seeing has told her she has developed allergies to the most kicka$$ cat ever-Paris. So with a heavy heart Im either forced to find a good home for my best bud or kill my wife........ which could be an option if she wasnt pregnant with my baby, and if she didnt make the most delicious samwich'es in the world. So Im looking for a home for my best bud ever, she dont like other animals at all, she dont give a s#!t when you get home or if you're lonely or if you want to 'snuggle' She does things on her time, and you will like it. Shes a great cat for old ladies who want company and also a little authority in their lives and who have also been abandoned by their good for nothing kids, who are just waiting for an inheritance. If you can give Paris, who has probably burned through 12 of her 9 lives, but still acts like a kitten at heart, let me know :( I have a billion more pics if you want to see them."

I really hope that someone adopts this cat. I mean, I totally would if I didn't already have a couple of rescues.

Oh, and the fish died. But I had nothing to do with that. Swear.