I love photography.
I admit it: I love taking pictures.
I'd like to call myself a photographer, but I feel like a poseur. It doesn't seem enough to call myself a hobbyist, and it almost feels demeaning to call myself "Mom With A Camera" (MWAC), as I've heard it termed. I'm more than a mom. I'm more than a hobbyist. I want to photograph people and get paid for it. But I don't want to deal with a business. So, that has me shooting myself in the foot.
I want to focus (pun intended) on taking beautiful photos. And exciting photos. And poignant photos. Pretty much any kind of photo except a gosh-awful photo.
I think about what I've learned, and what I've done. And I worry.
I don't, however, take advantage of every opportunity to photograph because I lack confidence.
Fear holds me back.
Low lighting? Busy and hectic? Will I have a photo opportunity at all? What if I fail?
I don't think I can take a good photo in some situations, so I don't even try. This fear prevents me from even picking up the camera some days. I become discouraged and don't touch it for days or even weeks.
Then one day I realize how much I'm missing out on, the memories of Evan that I have but that I want to see in pictures too, and I rush for it only to find my insecurity has increased. And my eye for the moment is gone.
It's scary to reach, again, past the fear. To try to remember that I'm okay.
That it's good to fail sometimes, because those failures teach me something new... something I've missed. And most importantly, what IF I fail? So what? What's the worst that could happen... in the words of Bob Ross: a happy accident?
That's when I realize I've missed the whole point ...
that... inspiration can find me anywhere...anytime,
and I won't know until I try to reach for the moment.
If you have not read this, do it now: http://www.clickinmoms.com/blog/being-more-than-just-a-hobbyist-photographer/ You are an artist, a story-teller... the same title I claim proudly.
ReplyDeleteAlso, flip that switch to automatic once in awhile and just click. Capture some memories without any pressure to do it amazingly - no pressure. :)
And yes, those happy accidents are sometimes the very best ones!
You go, girl!
ReplyDeleteand these words? they hold true for many aspects of life- thanks for the pick me up :)
ReplyDeleteI feel many of these same things, friend. And, man, these photos are awesome.
ReplyDeleteI'm not anywhere near you as a photographer and I am very afraid of the equipment. I'm trying to get some one on one instruction and I'm getting so much inspiration from your post - and your son. What have I got to lose? - and everything to gain. Loving the scene of the cat too, domestic scenes are my absolute fave. Happy New Year!
ReplyDelete