My Mid-Summer Resolution

I've been a bit at an impasse in my parenting... not feeling effective. Now, The Boy and I have, I think, a very good relationship. He loves his mummy, and he loves being with me. We have lots of good times together. And he's an amazing boy. A very good boy overall. He doesn't even have many tempers. I will say he is strong willed, and quick to frustration, but then so am I, and the apple never does fall far from the tree, does it?
My problem, then, is that The Boy doesn't appear to want to listen to me, or rather, doesn't follow my directions (obeying). I'm wondering if I'm giving too many unimportant directions or my expectations are too high.... So I googled discipline for toddlers. And what I found shocked me. I gave a good hard look at myself, and realized I haven't been living up to my potential, for lack of a better description. I'm doing The Boy a disservice. How? I'm not providing clear expectations, and I'm getting frustrated quickly and lose my temper. And then I wonder that The Boy does! So here it is: I've trained him to not respond to me. He's a good learner, too!
So here's my resolution... and I feel it important enough to resolve publicly (albeit somewhat anonymously): to give clear expectations, to not yell anymore, to be more consistent with consequences and more patient with The Boy. There I said it. Somewhat melodramatically, perhaps, but it's a relief. I don't know how I can actually do this. All the parenting advice conveniently leaves out that part, which is the part that mosts interests me. Oh well. Let's see what happens next....