Changing the name of my blog was necessary, but I'm afraid now that it is throwing people off. I hope I can still be found in the blogiverse. Only time will tell.
A lot of change has also happened in life, and it seems like it naturally led to the change of name. And while the change has been good, the effects are rather... weird.
When I was all stressed out, and trying to figure things out, and spent a great deal of my time being angry and bitter, I actually felt much closer and in tune with the blogiverse (because I just don't know what else to call it). Life was not easy. In fact, it was pretty rough and hard at times. And so many times I wanted to just run away from it all. But the blog community was something that was so good to come back to every day. I made time for it (it was easier with a regular "sitter") and I was reading you every day. I commented. I connected.
After "the change", things are no longer clear in the blogiverse. I see things differently. I feel differently. I'm no longer as stressed, or angry, or bitter. I have acceptance. I'm stronger. I'm setting better boundaries. And while things don't always go my way, I'm more able to let it go. It's still a work in progress, but it's getting there.
So the weird thing is, I feel I've lost my place in the blog community. Like, I stepped out for a second and when I got back in everyone moved on. But I didn't really step out. I don't have that much time right now for composing or writing blog posts, or reading and commenting on others. And I changed. I'm different. I'm no longer wacky. I'm just me... acceptance and all.
So I sit here, perplexed... feeling a little alone (blogwise). I'm thinking about some blogs and people (not all) I met in the community that I once felt close to, but now our "paths" never cross. Or those who used to visit and now no longer do. Jane said it most eloquently today in talking about blogging, and as she usually does, she got me thinking. Did I get lost? Or did I lose you?
*** Thank you to all my bloggy friends who continue to visit and support me with your comments in this time of change in my life. I appreciate your friendship and caring more than you know. And I do try to let you know. You are all wonderful!
I know where you are. And I understand.
ReplyDeleteI love all that wonderful light in your photo, and how the branch draws my eye through it.
ReplyDeleteI had to add your new url to my reader, so it may take awhile for some of your followers to "find" you again. And, it's perfectly acceptable to feel that you're floating now. I think that's okay.
I've reinvented myself a couple times online - it takes a while.
ReplyDeletepeople will find you. it may not be all the same people, but it will be the people who are in tune with who you are right now.
The good and bad thing about the online community is that it keeps going, like you said. It's good in that you can pick up any day and jump in, but it's bad when you feel like you're invested and then take a little break and realize there's so much going on that indeed, it keeps going. You have to make your own place in it, and it is what it is.
ReplyDeleteLove the new name :)
One of the things I've discovered this year is that you can lose a lot of things... lose a lot of people. Hang on to who you are... because losing that... would be unforgiveable.
ReplyDeleteWe're behind you my friend. I've been where you are.