I've been thinking about homeschooling since I was pregnant and idealistic. From what I've been hearing everywhere, it's not just for freaky conspiracy-theorists who live in the woods anymore.
I had visions of using a wholistic model of learning (and here I'm just making this stuff up as I go along, so all those educators please go easy on me.... I'm not a trained educator)... field trips and learning one-on-one and having discussions and not being tied to a desk. Learning as fast -- or as slow -- as he needs to, and turning everything into a fun learning experience.
It actually sounds wonderful -- knowing just what your child is learning and making sure that he gets a well-rounded education, especially with getting out and being all hands-on, going places and providing unique experiences.
It sounds like a lot of work on my part though, but I'm down with that.
What I'm not down with is the surprising discovery I've made in living with my son. It's something I've been struggling with for a while, and it's not going away. So I'm being courageous here and speaking up: he thinks I'm dumb as sh*t. I was hoping this wouldn't happen until he was at least 13, but apparently adolescence hits much earlier nowadays. Like, at 3 and 4.
He asks questions incessantly, because he's curious and that's great. And when I answer he replies inevitably "No, that's not right." That's not as great. Unfortunately our conversations typically end with a motherly sigh and these horrible words coming out of my mouth: "If you don't like the answers, please don't ask me questions."
Oh yeah, I'm stifling his learning already. And it's totally made me not want to teach him anything. Not even a little bit. Examples:
Shoes with actual laces? He can learn it in high school. They make velcro-strap shoes until then. I know -- I've checked.
Wiping his own butt? He can figure that one out by himself.
Making the bed? Why does it need to be made? It's just going to get un-made at night.
Counting in order -- not skipping 14 and going straight to 28, 29, 20-10, 20-11? Actually, it has it's own logic, but somewhere somehow someone will set him straight. I hope. God knows I've tried, but he likes his own numbering system best.
Constructing paper airplanes (so I can get a break from everything dinosaur)? Nope. No-way. No-how. Turns out, I'm a paper airplane making machine and he's content to beg me to make more and then chuck them at me. He is very good at making them fly, and it has become an all-consuming new interest, so it is successful in that there are no dinosaurs involved. For now. Mission completed. (Knock on wood.)
And I won't even get into how much he tunes me out and I have to repeat everything I say in very precise tones, if you know what I mean, and then make him parrot back what I said to be sure that he does in fact hear (contrary to what it appears) and that he can understand what I'm saying. The good news is, comprehension of my statements is increasing. I can tell by the tantrums when he doesn't like what I say.
So, I guess I won't be following this homeschooling fad after all -- darn it -- and I'll be subjecting him to the local school system.
I'm good with that right now. It just feeds my personal belief system of fundamental laziness whenever possible. Win-win.
This post just tickles my soul. I've homeschooled before and I know exactly what you mean. But don't think you can get out of having to teach him how to tie his shoes. My youngest doesn't know how yet and I got a note from the teacher the other day asking me (well, it was directed at all the parents but I swear she's singling me out) to take the time to teach him this "life skill." Geez. It never ends.
ReplyDeleteYeah, well. Best laid plans.
ReplyDeleteNo way in hell would I have ever thought I would homeschool mine. Funny how that worked out.
I could never home school it is just not for me.
ReplyDeleteNot for me either. We'd all go insane. All of us.
ReplyDeleteYou had me laughing out loud with this post, particularly the "tuning out" part. This is one of my biggest beef with my 4 1/2-year-old. It drives me bananas. He starts school in a couple of weeks and I'm already preparing for a call from the teacher about his attention issues. Or, maybe he just doesn't listen to ME.
ReplyDeleteHomeschooling, while it seems ideal and lots of fun in theory, is also not for me. Great post.