Uninspired

That's me: uninspired. Busy with the daily tasks and challenges of everyday life. Keeping up with the laundry... staying on top of the dishes... vacuuming, even cleaning the bathrooms. The daily drudgery in a home.

This does not uninspire me. I'm actually doing all this because I've been so uninspired. It's that bad. I mean, I thought I had it bad at times before, but this.... this is ridiculous. I'm actually cleaning.

My photography and editing photos has fallen by the wayside.

Creative energy is being sucked from my brain as it rewires itself around and around, forging new pathways (and old) of thinking for my new job. Only one day a week of really amazing work -- work that hits me as soon as I walk through the school doors after a 45 minute commute through the countryside of brown and tan and beige rolling hills and fields; work that starts as soon as I set down my bag and doesn't stop through meetings and conversations and shared silences and phone calls and "touching base" and even some paperwork. Oh, and play. The play of work. Or is it the work of play? The sitting down on the floor and watching dynamics unfold between family members as they indulge in an opportunity to have a safe place to be.

This is an amazing job. This is the job I've been trying for - literally - years to get, ever since returning to Canada with credentials seemingly only recognized in the states. This job makes me feel guilty and selfish... for enjoying it so much.

(Of course, there's also some stress on both me and my son for having him in daycare one day a week. For never having been with a non-family member, other than preschool, this is a stressful situation. He has a 10 hour day. Luckily, it's on a preschool day, so it's broken up with the comforting and familiar surroundings and people of preschool. Luckily, I've found a daycare provider who will actually transport him to and from preschool. Not all will. Daycares are surprisingly picky about which child's situation they will accept. And I'm picky (and stubborn) enough to not accept anything but what I think is best for him. Now he's adjusting; he's accepting. Last night he announced on the way home from daycare, "I'm getting used to daycare!" And he sounded proud and happy about it.)

This is not only an intensely rewarding job, it's draining. Emotional energy is being expended in a way I have to again become used to. So, in the midst of wonderfulness, other creative outlets have fallen away. Photography: almost none. Editing: nada. Cooking: ha! I open cans and make sandwiches. It's an art all it's own.

And then something weird happened. I was putting away the cleaned jars that baby food comes in (Yes, he still likes pureed strawberries on oatmeal. Don't judge.), when I saw how many had accumulated in the cupboard. I keep everything. Anything I think I might find a use for, I keep. I hate garbaging anything; I recycle just about everything plastic. I'm all about the environment, yo. But these little cute glass jars with lids? I gotta have them! I might use them someday! But in the meantime, the cupboard is filling up.

Short version of a long story: I'm not a crafty person by any means. But something sparked and, between the sudden unexpected inspiration of the jars and those green squares of tissue paper that mandarin oranges come wrapped in, I gave in to the urge to pick up some mod podge and dollar-store art brushes. Here is the madness that ensued:

Scary little votive candle holders for Hallowe'en.

The good news: I can probably use them for Christmas, too. Especially if I pick up some red tissue paper and make some more.

Bad news: dollar-store art brushes suck. The bristles come out. So these votives are not just scary, but also hairy. There's a moral in there somewhere.

Stick around to see the finished product for Hallowe'en night. I might even take more pictures.