Evan is in a weird stage. I think it's weird because he must be a little boy... I mean, he's only 3. I know that. And yet, he "acts" like he's bigger. He tries to be so much tougher, stronger, even meaner. (I don't mean cruel, just, you know... meaner.... I don't know how to explain, except that he frowns more when he knows I'm watching, acts rougher, etc.) He's more serious, at times; he's trying to be manly, I know (maybe from being around his Apma???). He's like two different people. I love the energetic, happy, silly little boy that he is, and I'm trying to like this big boy that he's trying to become. (I don't want him to grow up too fast, or try to be someone he's not, or ... you know, I worry way too much!)
The thing is, I don't know how to relate at times. It's an awkward stage for both of us. I forget he's so little at times, because of this new "bigger" version, and expect more of him (or ask more of him) than he is able to be right now. I really don't mean to! And then there's times that I treat him like he's still "little" (which he is), and he doesn't like it because he's trying to be "big".
Usually I just kind of sit back (when I can) and watch. Just try to see him and praise him and observe him aloud. ("Look at that: you lifted that by yourself! You're so strong!" That kind of stuff. I don't know if I'm all wrong here or not... I don't know what the heck I'm doing so I'm just making it up as I go along.) He usually responds with a puffed out chest saying, "I am strong. I'm a big boy." It makes me giggle. And what can I say, I like to make him happy.
I just want him to grow up liking himself. And I say "no" and "bad" to enough stuff that I have to look for what I can to say "yes" and "good" to. He's a boy and a cyclone at that. And a little know-it-all, so I have to fight for my position as Alpha Dog. Some days I would love to sit back and let him run the show (because I'm just not up for the struggle), but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't look out for him, so I have to keep fighting. And I'm fighting for him: my big boy. Every day.
I just need to remind myself of that sometimes.
.
winn's window / koreen photography
- koreen (aka: winn)
- I'm a hobbyist photographer, a school counselor, a health junkie, and a mom. But above all, I'm just a woman living my truth. My biggest happiness in life is to savour each moment while it happens. That's all. That's everything.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Evan is doing what all boys his age do... it's all completely normal behavior for a boy of three :)
ReplyDeleteKeep on doing what you are doing... guidance, encouragement and discipline when needed. Perfect!
Sounds like you are doing a great job. I totally understand the wanting him to grow up to like himself thing. Such a hard thing to do-- to grow up with an honest opinion of yourself, one where you can embrace both your weaknesses and your strengths, and like yourself in the midst of the evaluation. oops, maybe I'm talking about myself now...:). It's hard to know, as a parent, how to help a child do that. I hope for the same thing for my boys.
ReplyDeleteI'm relieved to hear it's not just my son. Everything is "meaner", or "rock music". The red car? The meanest one. Therefore the most desirable. It's weird!
ReplyDelete